What could all this be? Faerie orgies? Metal buckets full of bile? A light emanating from The Lady Jane College for Little Ladies that spans the globe? Somehow all these things are connected. Could imaginary bears have something to do with it? Or the young scholars currently lost in the far reaches of hell? Handyman Jack believes he can make a portal to hell himself with the help of his fleet of miniature porcelain mechanized hot air balloons and perhaps the powers of Archibald the Professor of Arcane Knowledge. But they need a human sacrifice to fill out the picture. Just then the doorbell rings.
Side 2
Episode 32
Can no one see that Grammar Instructor Gundrun has been transformed into a sweaty-toothed demon? Is the boy that Archibald the Professor of Arcane Knowledge succumbs using his and-now-I-have-your-mind spell really going to be sacrificed to the forces of darkness? While in the astral plane, the young scholars, Simone, Isabel, and Nathaniel wander aimlessly over undulating mounds while being harassed by snickering insects. Be warned.
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 33
A young boy from the preparatory school down the lane has been put under a trance so as to be used by Headmistress Ursula to create a portal into the realm of death. Grammar Instructor Gundrun has grown awfully quiet on account of how she is transforming into Satan, or an approximation of Satan. Other young scholars, specifically Simone, Isabel, and Nathaniel, are wandering through the astral plane, but whatever happened to Butcher Billy? And why are the Invisible Bears singing that irritating song? And what are the fairies discussing in their emergency council? Only time will tell. Or will it?
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 34
This pivotal episode in our story involves many things, some to do with time, some to do with dog-sized whales, and some to do with people who just can’t take it anymore because they’re possessed by Satan and crave human flesh, not to mention having an immense dislike fir monologues by overbearing administrators. If you listen closely, you can hear the entire storyline of the up-and-coming episodes splayed out along the strings of time Simone, Isabel, and Nathaniel are traversing after she’s eaten the cursed fruit blooms from out her belly into the most adorable little bird. Be prepared!
(Also listen for Butcher Billy falling through the skylight during Ursula’s monologue only to stop short of the floor with the help of her wizardry.)
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 35
The young scholars are battling their way through the nine levels of hell, but are there nine levels or is it just a single infinite expanse full of chipmunk-voiced mongrels manning the controls within the heads of bleary-eyed walking trees pictured above? While back on earth, the administrators at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies are all being sucked into a vortex when Grammar Instructor Gundrun gives in to her demonic desire to suck the flesh of a poor boy from the preparatory school down the lane. Dark days are here again!
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 36
The astral plane has consumed everybody. True, Gundrun will be trapped in an in between place for all eternity, but as for the rest, they are stuck now in a world without windows, a place tickles at the heartstrings and beats upon the brain, where nothing is what it seems, and everything is very much what it seems, where the darkness is blinding bright, and the brightness is pitch black, where nothing could be better, and everything could be far far worse, where Butcher Billy finds a leg in a swamp, lines this marble hall chock full of vegetation moves like snakes in the high grass to cut off any and all escape. Be warned!
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 37
Is Jack or is Jack not touching Headmistress Ursula’s breast? What happened to Butcher Billy and Archibald the professor of Arcane Knowledge? Why does Satan sound so suspiciously like the narrator? Who are that strange couple that just showed up at the front door of the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies? Watch, listen, and learn.
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 38
Who are these newlyweds who have just stumbled upon The Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies? What did they see at the spiritualist’s in Brixton? Where is this story going? Only time will tell.
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 39
The hordes of hell are spreading across the land, and a strange creature made all of leather but for the cleavage and porcelain face has confronted Archibald the Professor of Arcane Knowledge and Butcher Billy. The young scholars are frozen in time, and the narrator is winning because the narrator is Satan.
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 40
Perhaps you have become confused. In this episode Butcher Billy discovers the secret to hopping from hell to earth and back again, but it’s all blurring together regardless, hell and earth squishing into one slippery slab of sight, until there is no distinction between the fiery pit and the world above, and no escape!
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 41
Travel through the present and into the past, and not just in the usual ways of listening to old stories, but in the not so usual ways of actually being in the past, or rather a timeless place is neither the past or the present. Is Ursula also Satan? What really happened after she and Jack went through the Tongue Forest? It’s up to you to find out!
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 42
The past and the present? Breasts that suck rather than secrete? Where is Butcher Billy when we need him? What is happening to Archibald the Professor of Arcane knowledge? Listen for the demon on the pogo stick as he chases after one of the young scholars.
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 43
Wow. This non-stop narrative takes you to so many resort locations within the now fallen earth, overrun as it is by demons from the depths of hell, chambermaids being dragged before pustulant demon mounds and faeries copulating with crickets. Truly, a vacation package.
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 44
Could Nathaniel and Isabel be the last hope for humanity? What sort of mischief have they been up to these long years gone by while the world ran down? Is there someone else could save us from the maws of hell? Only time will tell, and time is running out!
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 45
Dr. William O’Reilly’s message is perversion, and what of it? He preaches that his parishoners kill themselves so that they then manifest in hell, only to then kill themselves back into the waking world and so become transplendent, which is not even a word, for earth is the hell of hell, just as hell is the hell of earth. To die in one is to be reborn in the other.
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 46
Persons are lounging around a place formerly called the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies, now called the Dr. O’Reilly Die to Life Clinic. There is a small chapel abutting the grounds that’s been boarded up since the year 1892, the year a small girl was burnt alive, but where is that girl now? Could she be in hell? But where is hell? And why are faeries hatching out of her skin like the most adorable species of scabies you could ever imagine?
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 47
The narrator is being killed by faeries are hatching out of a little girl like scabies, aka the Fairy Princess, while back in the waking world now overrun with demon spawn Dr. William O’Reilly is confronted by a demon has information concerning a few adolescents turned demon-hunters. He will find them and bring them out of hell to save the world.
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 48
Demons have overrun the earth. It’s only the desire to stay alive that keeps people in hell, and Dr. O’Reilly has no desire to stay alive whatsoever, but how does he know what he knows and what is that thing that is currently insulting him from out the shadows, and what is that bird poking itself outside of Isabel’s guts?
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 49
The end is nigh! The end is nigh! The narrator has a faery infestation within his brain, while Isabel and Nathaniel are confronted by the faerie Lilu. Listen to discover why faeries and demons both are dangerous to human-folk, unless you already know of course, in which case I suggest you hurry to the nearest mental health ward.
A new episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies aired on a semi-weekly basis.
Episode 50
“I haven’t seen young meat for so long.” So begins another episode of Twilight at the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies. Isabel is in a tavern in a world overrun by demons, while outside creatures of the underworld are eating each down to a dot across the globe, while in another place, Nathaniel confronts the faerie Lilu and discovers the truth about hell, faeries, and demons.